Cactus Legs and Long Hair

We get each other like girls

Because we are girls.

The boy, he was staring longer at us both,

We know-

So we don't fight,

And have late-night conversations like about secret society shit

We both start staring at the stars;

I tried to make you stay to talk

But we grew distant.

Fuck, you always make me feel like family

This time I felt it wasn't so tight,

Like city streets in full effect,

Loaded with sounds.

You, the girl, my friend, turned on me.

We were the scary girls and the "demonios"!

We fought just to be the biggest in the room,

From a servant to herself to the owner of herself

Do you understand that we had to do what we had to do?

You felt you were in a dream

A dream with angels and demons, demons, demons

Now you're the biggest in the room

And you're listening to the room,

The drama left behind

A sense of being used.

By: Brandy Ruiz

Big Radio to Bad Dreams

The demon is tight in my chest

And I couldn't breathe it,

Even though the dream it gave me got me stuck in a new dream

I don't like the fit,

I don't want to put them on like a new pair of shoes I didn't like

Let the nightmares stop!

The nightmare isn't old,

It showed my parents dead,

A dead man whose bloody face I had to clean,

And a secret wall only my sister could open-

I needed to write down my mother's last ideas to make money

Meaning I had to work.

I woke up to the demons on the radio;

The brain activity must have caused the bad dream,

It made me feel haunted and drained,

Slowly as I wake, the music is smoothing things over,

What seems to be familiar music starts playing,

The music stays in my chest and vibrates through my ears and in the back of my head.

By: Brandy Ruiz

Music by Me Listen

Check out my music: 

Hola Me Llamo Grinch

Mad At Berkeley

God's Coming My Way

Grinch on Meds

Grinch In The Haunted House

La Grinch Loves Money

Butterfly

The Radio Waves of God

I'm listening to the radio

I'm thinking introspectively 

God's lying to me

He is my father

and he wants my company.

He's a stalker

A sexy man trying to get laid

We play games just to avoid the depression

He's trying to play it cool

He doesn't want to play by the rules

The rules he made

Stubborn man

Young and stubborn like my dad.

An honest man lies but it's not God

He's dishonest and it makes me cry inside

At least based on what I know

I should just give up on his attempts to lure me in

But I don't want to

He's scary

He loves me that much.

Satan's concert

Oh I gotta see your game

You're sleeping in my room tonight,

I'm too scary

You'll see-

I'll defend myself,

But hold me tight.

By: Brandy Ruiz

Off My Med Still

I got prescribed a new medicine.

I'm waiting for the Pristic.

It's obscene how I have to wait.

My med manager said I need pre-approval.

She made some phone calls.

I made some phone calls.

Medi-Cal is a dick.

I've been getting screwed.

I have depression and I'm off meds.

My heart is broken.

Syke.

I'm in love with my work.

I don't work.

I feel incomplete though.

I need more medicine for the vibes.

The good vibes. 👌

Candle Light Dinner

Candle light dinner

In the moonlight 

Candle light dinner

In the moonlight

Every single day to the same place

See if I find my boy today

Candle light dinner

In the moonlight

Candle light dinner

In the moonlight

Angels and Demons

 If there's nothing more I'd like to say

Actually, I'd like to say

That I've been sailing some big waves

My dreams to have been a sea of wonder

A plague had plagued me

And played me as I slumbered

I wanted to stay awake

I wanted to dream big like those waves

But sleep gets heavy when the brain is tired

I wonder if I wondered too much about wonder

I think that my attempts have failed

But I've gained a level of respect

The voices are a camera

And I am their star

I shine through the night

I breathe in the daylight

I don't die but I don't live

Actually, sometimes I'm the protagonist of my dreams

Serves me right to suffer the way I do

Because I don't behave like I should

Still, I am human and my soul needs rest

This Schizophrenia is a place to lay my head

I feel like I will go into the hallucinations right

I won't be too lonely

So I won't fear the light

I won't fear the games

The angels and demons like to play for fun

This is where I stop.

By: Brandy Ruiz