Lakers vs Trail Blazers

I'm watching the Lakers game. Saw the tributes on tv. Shed a tear or two for Kobe. And I want the team to win the game but I'm still a L.A. Clippers fan and want the Clippers to win the championship. 

Money

Money does it please, nigga spread me like some cheese, spread me like some leaves, money money weed, money money weed.

God, Forgive Me: A Poem About Drugs

I stole a star from God,

In a glass soul,

It's contained;

It shines brightly.

My friend knows the way,

Will I follow?

Snort the meth?

Go at it again?

And grab another star from God,

and keep running from him?

Yesterday's Grocery List

Queso, onion, eggs, squash, tomato, bread, cream cheese...

I got home. Unloaded the plastic bags. Ate. Feeling like I forgot something. I proceeded with my day. Oh, a day later, today, I opened my notes from my phone to discover, I forgot the eggs. I bought cookies, milk, pb&j, ground beef, chicken legs, weenies, juice, etc. but I forgot los huevos. Well here are my huevos. I'm writing something about shopping at Ralph's for my blog. The audacity!

Quick Commentary: Seafood... The Boiling Crab vs Corn N Crab

I've ate king crab legs and shrimp from The Boiling Crab and Corn N Crab and I can definitely say that I love The Boiling Crab so much more. I like The Boiling Crab sauce better because of the thickness and garlickyness. Also, the shrimp isn't as overcooked as Corn N Crab's are. I won't be spending my money at any other sea food place because The Boiling Crab king crab and shrimp, plus sauce, is just that good. Also the size of the king crab legs are different. Way less crab meat in the shells at Corn N Crab.

The Chase

Food for Thought: Keep my skin buzzing, leave all the niggas crawling, leave all my skin crawling, leave all you niggas ducking. 

Day to Night: Medication Change

I just want what's fair. I want to know why I'm crazy. I gave myself time but it hasn't done me justice. I accept that I had a past in the dark and that doesn't make it an excuse rather it proves insight. I spent time in several mental institutions and took drugs without a diagnosis. It took months for a "proper" diagnosis. I felt awful when I was first prescribed Abilify. I was drowsy and didn't like how I felt throughout the day.

The doctors changed my medication and I made the decision to take it all at night time. I was drowsy but I had the option to sleep it off all night. The drugs are working, my psychiatrist thinks. Yet, I hear voices every day. I don't have visual hallucinations. And I am not suicidal. I think that technology is a way into the world but it's also a prison. Books are hard to read because of my phone, television, or simple air that doesn't allow me to focus on the words I love.

I live in a period of transition. I lean to and from mental games and a trial for sanity. I love my world.

I like to feel I'm making the right moves in this game of chess.

I'm now on several medications such as Clozapine, Sertraline, Haloperidol, and Hydroxyzine. I have monthly meetings with the psychiatrist. I used to go every week for the Clozapine level checks, but now I meet with them every month. If I missed a meeting, I would have to start over on the medication because Clozopine is prescribed in a certain quantity depending on the blood levels. I just took my meds and am feeling tired. Goodnight.

A Moment in Hell

I can hear you. The silence comes. I drift and take it easy after taking life so hard. My mouth’s so loud. My head full of thought and creativity; I can’t take to the voices so much because they are not only in my head but they're heard by you. I was there. I heard the voice speak to you and you laughed. Was it funny? I don't understand if you could hear them too but I sure did.

I'm Schizophrenic. Why am I given this diagnosis? Ok, I hear voices. I've had visual hallucinations. Ok, maybe the medicine works. I'm concerned about the voices and the presence of people I feel around me all the time, the capacity of entities in my presence, and it's like I'm being watched by people, animals, the government. demons, angels, and aliens.

Would common people lie about hearing voices because they like or hate them? Appearances are important. The voices dress us. Do we all end up hearing voices as we age? Is the next generation hearing more voices than older generations because of technology? Would that mean we are in actual Hell with Satan? Imagine a world where voices were heard by everyone and they could be family, neighbors, or unknown people whispering or speaking things to you out of thin air. Are we safe?

Bby Okay

How do I let him? Once more and again, a nude picture for a friend. I'm butt naked. My love is real. For goodness sake. I'm alone. A heart tender like pulled pork. I'm sauced.