The Voices In My Head

I want to work. I see job openings and I want to apply. I even filled out a McDonald's application but closed the window after thinking of my mental state. My sister brought it up. She said the doctor said I couldn't work. Although that is true, the SSI office sent me a letter stating that I could work. I, and my mom, know that I can work. I have to ask my psychiatrist if it's okay and I need to tell the SSI office if and when I get a job. I see the psychiatrist every two weeks now starting two weeks ago. I only talk about my diet, the voices I hear, the connections and associations I make of the world, and about my days coping with the medication. The medication is to help calm or eliminate the voices I hear on a daily basis. The associations I make are in the world and I am in the world; So people of the world are affected, I think, by "television skin and organ television". The connection could be static or sweet sweet love making. The voices could be conflicted or direct and in love, hate, fear, shock, etc. They're very emotional and desperately cling to any and all reality to be concise. The medication doesn't stop them, really. The voices just get more organized, I feel, like organized crime or family. I am hopeful that I will work again and that this "set back", and I put this in quotation marks, because having voices linger about could be an advantage. I will get back to work. Whether it is me going back to Cal to finish my senior year or working for $8 -$10 an hour everyday for as long as I can, I will be responsible.